The Healing Power Of Love
by Spacedancer
Summary: The things Dr. McCoy needed to hear. Star Trek TOS and Star Trek AOS


"Hi, Doctor!" she said softly, as she stood beside his bed, gazing tenderly at his pale face. Still as handsome as ever, but woefully devoid of all the passion, the spark, the life that made him the wonderful, unique man that he was.

She reached out a hand to gently stroke his cheek and comb her fingers through his hair, like she'd done every night for the past few days. Ever since he'd fallen into this coma.

Dr. M'Benga had done everything he could to heal his physical injuries. Now it was up to Dr. McCoy to do the rest. To wake up and come back to those who loved and needed him. To his friends, his colleagues, his patients. To her.

She'd been on night shift the whole week, so, every night after the captain, Uhura, Scotty and all his other friends, who spent hours at his bedside holding his hand and talking to him, begging him, had left, she'd had him all to herself.

The first night, when she'd still been in shock after hearing what had happened to the doctor, she'd spent the better part of an hour just standing beside him, silently weeping and praying. Trying to will him better. Sickbay without him just wasn't imaginable.

The second night, she'd given in to an urge to touch him. Something she'd never have dared to do, had he been conscious. But she felt that in his state, he just couldn't get enough comfort and reassurance. Maybe the warmth of her touch, even if he didn't know her as well as he knew Captain Kirk or his other friends, would get through to him. Give him strength. Draw him back to life.

So, during her shifts, she'd return to his bedside as often as her work would allowed it, to gently caress his beloved face or simply hold his hand.

Tonight, however, she decided to tell him everything that was on her mind. She was convinced that at least part of him could hear her. Nothing she could say, of course, hadn't been said by any of his friends before, but she needed to say it anyway.

So she pulled up a chair next to his bed, gently took his hand in both of hers, and started to talk.

"Doctor, it's me again. On night shift. You probably don't even know who I am. You rarely see me. But I see you. In fact, I've often wished I could see more of you, have more time with you. But not like this. Never like this.

"I need to see you full of life, grumpy, grouching, complaining, lecturing, bouncing. Passionate about everything. And so full of love. Love for your friends, your patients, your staff. Even me, when you see me.

"All those times I watched you tenderly brush a sleeping patient's hair from their face, when you thought no one was looking. Or briefly stop beside someone's bed to check their pulse with gentle fingers, fully ignoring the fact that that information was perfectly visible in the readings above.

"The many times you dug out your bottle of pretend Saurian brandy for a chummy chat with one of your patients. To take their minds off their pain and fears, convincing them that it was the medication that made the brandy taste like mere fizzy water.

"And of course all those times I saw you lower your eyes, your lips moving in silent prayer, whenever we were under attack or about to beam up an injured landing party.

"You care so much. And so deeply. I'd faithfully put my life in your hands any day.

"For some reason you're ashamed of all the love and compassion you feel. And you try to hide it behind this grumpy face. But believe me, you're fooling no one. We all see right through you. And we love you the more for it. We'd do anything for you. _I_ certainly would.

"You're the reason I get up in the mornings. Why I love my work so much. You're not aware of it, but you're an incredible teacher, a wonderful role model. And the greatest source of inspiration to me.

"Hearing you say, 'Thank you, nurse', or even 'Well done, nurse' in your beautiful Southern drawl always makes my day. But right now, even hearing you yell at me for something I didn't carry out to your exacting standards would mean the world to me. Anything from you. Any sign that you're still here.

"You once patted my back appreciatively after I assisted you in an operation. You were so tired, yet you managed that beaming smile of yours for me. That instant stayed with me for weeks, making me feel so good about myself.

"And there's the one time you actually held me. In your arms. After one of my closest friends died in the line of duty on a mission. You didn't know me well at all, certainly didn't know who I was friends with. But you saw me standing there in the corner, desperately trying to keep it together. And you came over and just wordlessly opened your arms for me to step in. That gesture completely undid me, and I sobbed my heart out against your chest. Until your shirt was drenched with my tears. But you didn't mind.

"You might not even remember, but you stood there for the longest time, just holding me tight and gently rubbing my back. You didn't say a word. No empty platitudes. But I could feel your soothing heartbeat and your gentle breath in my hair. And I've never felt more comforted in my life.

"Do you have any idea at all how wonderful you are? How much everybody adores and admires you? And needs you?

"I've never seen the captain cry before. Honestly, I always thought that nothing rattles him. And yet, here he was, clinging to your hand and begging you to wake up, to return from wherever you are. I guess he feels really guilty about what happened to you, too. If nothing else, this should be reason enough for you to come back, shouldn't it?

"Do you know that even Mr. Spock is not afraid to show his concern for you? He's been to sickbay more often these past few days than in all the years I've known him put together. He just sits with you, quietly staring into the distance, and it's heart-breaking to see him like this. As close to distraught as a Vulcan could possibly come.

"And I'm not even starting on Christine. She's always been our rock. But these days, she's just walking around listlessly and stony-faced, like a zombie.

"I've seen a lot of sadness and pain, working in sickbay, of course. But nothing compares to this all-consuming feeling of grief that fills the Enterprise now. It's like the whole ship is mourning, and scared, yet guardedly hopeful. All departments as one. All for you. For you are the heart and soul of this ship and this crew. The one person every single crew member loves and trusts and relies on.

"You like to play down your achievements, tell the world that you're just a simple old country doctor. Even though we both know there's nothing simple about being a country doctor. And as for old, well, I'm not even getting into this right now.

"I'd rather remind you of what a hero you truly are. And not just to me. Yes, of course, Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock and the others are heroes, too. And, even if they don't quite brag about it, they certainly know it.

"But they take you churning out medical miracles on a regular basis for granted. It's easy to be a hero, if you know that a certain doctor is always there, waiting in the background to patch you back together no matter what. Even more so, if you're not actually afraid of anything, which I suspect is true for the captain.

"_You_ do get scared, though. Terrified even. And you're not afraid to show it, either. And yet, you'll go ahead and gladly do anything, take on anyone, if it means you can save a life. No matter if it's a loved one's or a total stranger's. Now that's what I call a hero.

"I've heard the stories of what you let the Vians do to you to save the captain and Mr. Spock. And how you wouldn't allow this girl to heal you, even though it meant sacrificing your own life. Or how you threw all caution to the wind on Miri's planet and tested that vaccine on yourself. I think that was the only time I've ever heard Mr. Spock use the word ‚stupid'.

"But that's who you are. Always putting everyone else first. Always protective, of everyone and everything. Making sure that everyone else is safe and cared for. _I_ certainly feel safe, when you're around.

"But now it's time for _us_ to take care of _you_, to be there for _you_. Whatever you need, when you wake up, I'll do. And so will everybody else. There's not a single person aboard, who wouldn't give everything to have you back.

"Please, Doctor, come back. Come home. We all love and miss you so much._ I_ love you so much. You'll never know, of course, but that doesn't matter. We'll never be close, never be more than colleagues. There's too much of a gap between us. In rank, in age, in everything. But I don't mind. As long as sickbay is filled again with your laughter, your tirades, your lectures, your brilliance, and your kindness, that'll be enough for me.

"Please, Doctor. Please!"

She stood up, squeezed his hand tightly one more time, then bent down to brush the lightest kiss on his forehead and went back to her work.

She never saw the lonely tear running down the doctor's cheek.

-x-x-x-x-

When she woke up the next day and went to have breakfast, the mess was buzzing with people already on their lunch break, excitedly sharing the happy news of Dr. McCoy having woken from his coma.

She wanted to punch the air with joy, couldn't remember ever feeling happier or more relieved in her life. And she was not alone, either. It was as if the whole ship was vibrating with elation and gratitude. She could hardly wait for her shift to start that evening, eager to look into the doctor's bright eyes and hear his deep, rich voice again. Probably already grouching and complaining loudly, she thought, grinning to herself.

And sure enough, the moment she entered sickbay almost half an hour early, she could already hear him telling off her colleagues for making such a fuss. He was perfectly all right and more than ready to return to his quarters, if not to duty, thank you very much!

Her heart soared, tears of joy running down her cheeks, as she listened to Dr. M'Benga calmly contradicting the ranting CMO.

She couldn't help herself, she had to see him, see his animated, kind face right away. But when she turned the corner, about to enter his room, she saw him sitting up in bed, surrounded not only by Dr. M'Benga and Christine Chapel, but by Captain Kirk and Mr Spock as well.

Not wanting to intrude, she turned on her heel, hoping to slip away again unnoticed. But Dr. McCoy, obviously back to his observant self, had already spotted her and called out her name, asking her to join them.

So she turned around again and went to stand by his bed, shyly greeting the captain and the others on the way.

"I'm sorry, Doctor, I didn't mean to intrude," she said, her voice a little shaky, "I just wanted to say hello, it's so good to have you back!"

McCoy just smiled at her, the affection in his eyes nearly melting her heart. Then he took her hand in his and squeezed gently, almost tenderly.

Her heart fluttering, and feeling the heat rise in her cheeks, she blurted out, "My shift's about to start, Doctor, I'd better get ready," and tried to turn away again.

"Of course, nurse, I wouldn't want to keep you from your work," McCoy replied calmly and actually winked at her, still holding on to her hand, his voice as soft as she'd ever heard him.

He gazed into her eyes for another long moment, then, almost reluctantly, let go of her hand.

And just before she was out the door again, feeling totally flustered, she heard him softly call after her, "Thank you, nurse, and well done!"

* * *

Disclaimer:  
Nothing of or associated with Star Trek is mine – it all belongs to Paramount / ViacomCBS (or whoever else is currently holding the rights). This is a work of fanfiction, no infringement intended.


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